My Life; An Idle Tear

 My Life; An Idle Tear

My Life; A bed of thorns,
With no roses on the way,

An endless valley of drenched nights,

to make me doom, gloom and grey.

My Life; A rejected old mosaic,

with no pieces of grace,

keep of feeling, should I, 

is the saying of the old ways.

My Life; An idle tear,

having no way but to fall,

breaking into worthless pieces,

like nothing, nothing at all.

My Life; A journey through darkness,

with no stars on the way,

the depth is the utter sadness,

sadness along she stays.

My Life; more like a death,

with no grave, or rejected or left,

sadly I lived and sadly I die,

and this be, nay the verse you grave,

when I say goodbye.

SPIRITLESS HE LIVED; BADLY TO BE LOVED,

LOVE WAS HIS PEARL, BADLY HE LOVED,

PRESENT LIFE AND ALL LIVES, IF GIVEN THROUGH,

HE SHALL ALWAYS LOVE CARE AND REMEMBER YOU.

                                                                                ------- Sam

Pearl; My Love's Eden

 Pearl; My Love's Eden

My Love; a tender smile with a crystal dew on her fragile lips,

My  Love; an intangible cascade, falling far from a mountain tip,

My Love, a soft feeling with the rose fragrance of her gentle touch,

My Love; a serene serenade sung in the springs by a pretty thrush,

My Love; a holy rainbow with the colours of faint twilight,

My Love; a soul with purity only in God's site,

My Love; a pearl with oyster of the lands of fairy,

My Love; it's you with the beauty of an elusive lady.

---- Sam

My Love; my life, or a dream

My Love; my life, or a dream

It all started with a dream,
A dream I cherished,
With my stars and my light.
My own ecstasy in my eyes,
I nurtured it with my soul
And made it my life.
I nourished it with my blood,
And yes! it was my life.
Placed warm, more she was serene,
And it all started with a dream.
Fragile, as a dew; was it,
Soft as a petal you feel.
Pearl was starry and elusive,
But it really only was a dream.

A world it was I lived in,
An illusion elusive was all I built,
Nights never used to pass,
And to miss was all I ever did.

She came, throbbing my heart.
In my reality or in my dream,
But I know I loved,
With her in me and my blood.

I learnt a new meaning,
An all-new entity.
With high hopes, as it seemed,
And I was proud to be a being.
To get a path to exist,
And not to exist but live,
To live life and to serve,
In this superior world, a world of love.
With no trace of anger, there was seen.
But to give and give was all the need,
So enticing was the beginning,
The beginning of my very own dream.

..Sam

What is LIfe.

What is LIfe.

Is life a dream,
With falling out what you feel,
You wish to be true,
For all that you grew,
Or is life; waiting,
Waiting to be known,
Or to know,
What life is,
and its dices.
No; Life is a struggle,
With God having its cards,
A struggle with time,
To beat the hard.
To know the meaning,
To feel the feeling,
Deprived sometimes,
And sometimes winning.
So live what you have,
Not what you don't,
Life will pay,
With all that you grew,
Will soon gonna be true.

...Sam

Life; two ways

Life; two ways

Pain is agonising,
World is large,
Seems to be tough,
And goal so far.
The ways in front,
Are always two,
The easy wrong,
And the tough true.
But that's the game,
Yes; called life,
You have to play,
To Choose the right.

..Sam

My Life; A Broken Scenario

My Life; A Broken Scenario

Time; the wandering miracle,
Makes me remember,
My past a trifle,
With time, so elusive,
And nature so shy,
With nothing to contend,
So frolic was I.

The glide seemed easy,
Thoughts sailing and souring,
Feelings ardent avid,
So daftly pretending.

Time; showed its wrath,
Life went monotonous,
I termed scorn,
Left with desertness.

Desertness of a tree,
As in autumn,
Left with despair,
Left with contempt.

Presently my life,
Like a requiem,
Degraded tormented,
Left with spurn.

Solitude my being,
Entity futile,
Facts remain dormant,
Condemned to exile.

Existing I am,
Coz, I was sent,
Trying to live,
On the verge of the end.

In belief I was,
Life, Love and Romance,
But still, I wonder,
What life is,
And who I am.

It's much to elusive,
Is all I say,
What you do or did,
Comes all in the fate.

So live life,
Life never comes after,
Its a mystery, enigma,
Don't try to decipher.

..Sam

Pearl; My Fragrance

Pearl; My Fragrance

My life, limited to your circle,
My dreams, filled with your essence,
My days, pass with your memories,
And my heart beats with your fragrance.

--sam

Pearl, I want you back

Pearl, I want you back

If realise, you lost the dreams,
Or gone days be redeemed,
Then do come to me,
Don't think or ask any,
Don't stop to come beside,
Heart was in our relation,
Let your heart decide.

..Sam

My Deserted Solitude

My Deserted Solitude

This world is too much for me,

And I a sordid to everyone,

Shadows my only true comrades,

Giving some peace to the outworn.

My Life; nothing to offer,

And days dark and wide,

My loneliness forever companion,

And my solitude always at my side.

My sail, divine despair,

A forlorn attempt to live,

Remembering the days of glittering,

The days so very elusive.

Happiness never to be seen,

And desertness always to be there,

No meaning to continue now,

When hope turns to despair.

Oh! God, why is life; world

So cruel to me,

Or is it only I,

Trembling where I used to be.

Everything is gone.

My strength; fragmented,

Life; frustrated,

My hopes deserted,

And I left tormented.

Beg for help, should I?

In this world, too brute,

Where no sorrow is left to mope my mood,

And if there is,

It's only my deserted deserted deserted solitude.

...Sam

Tormented Dream of a Broken Heart

Read my love ... I have poured my heart out to write this rendition....... 

Today my soulless brain took me back to my colony, which after 30 years, is presumed dead and lifeless. Where I see myself standing in the middle of the badminton court, the court that shares so many soulfull memories of my love and me together. I stand there alone now in this dead environment, with broken swings, desolate surroundings and abandoned houses, with the feeling of my lost love, remembering the small badminton games we used to play during our first close encounters, where I first shared my feelings with her; writing ILU on the mud........but I have nothing now, my dream shows me I am standing there in the court alone, with no one present, with an empty desolated colony all around me……………. Suddenly!!!, I see it’s the evening, the sunset is there, the colony, slowly becomes lively again, with friends and kids playing around, families chatting, and this is the same evening when my love was going out of the station with her family for the first time since we fell in love. When I first got the most cherished moment of my love journey with "time and space may keep us apart but you are always in my heart" written on a piece of paper …...... it’s the same evening, the same environment, the same feeling, the same desperation, and disappointment of not being able to see my love for 10 days. I can feel it all along…………standing there alone in the middle of the court, in the middle of the colony, which is empty, deserted and dead now. The closed abandoned houses, old rusted lawns, broken swings and the empty silence, with just the wind breezing around, seems so very haunting, making me realize, how alone, lost and deprived, I am now…….......Then, wiping off my few tears, I decide to take a round.........And suddenly it’s the night, the fresh night of the winters, with the smell that no fragrance can replace, smell and freshness of your first innocent love with your sweet window, showing its fluorescent light, that used to be my heartbeat for all the nights to come, in that colony ........The colony is lively again, with parents roaming around, kids playing, and I see my few friends, as if they are still there, in that era of Friday night movie breaks, asking me to take a round with them. I pretend to keep walking beside them as if they are still there. We walk around the corner and then pass your kitchen window……….… Wait; I see someone, someone in the darkness of the kitchen ...but I know it’s not my pearl; it must be someone else's shadow. My pearl has left me, left me years ago. It’s just me, my solitude and my memories now.......I then pass your other window, presuming that faint fluorescent light is still coming out of the curtains, that light was my inspiration to study at night, for years to come. I still try to have a peek from between the curtain lines, maybe I can have a glimpse of my life there, but no, I realize, it’s just an abandoned house now, I know I am alone, with just my emptiness and nothing else. We keep walking and get past, Ashimaa’s house, that sweet little princess who was our alibi on so many occasions, to be able to spend few minutes together…......and then I come full circle and stop in front of my love’s best friend’s house; Payal……………Suddenly, it’s not night, but a bright, summer morning, the friends are gone, the air fragrance has changed, probably its a Sunday morning, as I have a feeling of waiting, expecting my pearl to show up to go to Payal’s house. I am waiting, waiting, I still can feel that urge and prayers that I used to give to God, to be able to see my Pearl, even for just a few minutes …....... And suddenly there you are walking down from your house to hers, with a smile I can die for, like 100 times. You have the same divine walk, with your simple cotton suit and slippers..... I see you coming close to payal’s house, smiling, winking with your twinkling eyes, with the ever warmth of love and affection......walking slowly towards me. I expect you to see me, talk to me, but I forget, it’s just a dream and in reality, I am alone standing in the middle of a dead colony..... Slowly and slowly as you come near me, you start to fade away, the bright fresh summer morning slowly, gradually, starts to turn into the dead, windy, haunting, present colony ..... I try to reach you, spreading my arms to grab you, hold you....... screaming, PEARL don’t go...don’t go .... I am here.... I am still here, I would always be here,........don’t go....... but nothing, nothing stops you from fading into the thin air ..... And as you reach payal’s house and near me....you completely fade away into fragments, and all I feel is your fragrance in the moist air. I am in the present again standing alone there in the middle of the same dead empty court, closed houses, old rusted lawns, broken swings and empty silence, with only my loneliness and my memories of my lost love ...... I just walk out slowly...slowly fading into my vast emptiness, of what I call my true present..... 

Dedicated to my love my Pearl.